Pooja's Blog
Title: ConfusedPosted: Thu 11-Feb-2010 09:22 PM CST
Category: Private
I don't know what made me do that yesterday night. His invitation was out of the blue. He may know things about me but what do I know about him? Hardly anything! Wouldn't that mean flying all the way from Chicago to New York to meet someone who is nothing but a stranger?
The last few days have unraveled a story where I played a part without my knowledge or consent. When I try to mentally put together the pieces of this jigsaw puzzle, some don't seem to fit in correctly: Did Malu withhold the knowledge about our oath in college so as not to discourage him? Did Malu pique my curiosity by divulging only the required details so that I talk to him directly? Did Malu know more than what she has told me? Why did my parents keep his phone call and visit a secret? Did Rahul deliberately make me take a guilt trip so that I speak about him to Malu? Or to top it all, was it my name that Rahul heard in his sleep talk but never mentioned in his email? Was all this, then, a conspiracy?
But something deep inside me is telling me to look at the whole picture rather than the individual parts. And I see that the conspiracy is by the universe. Those questions that were lingering to my mind all this time seem to be loosing its importance now. Because I've started believing that the universe does conspire to help achieve one's dream if one craves for it with a true heart. Though not my dream, the universe comprising of my family and friends did try to conspire for somebody else's.
In spite of all this, I don't know what made me still book the flight tickets yesterday night. I know it isn't too late for cancelling the reservation now...if only I could make up my mind...Am I in love? I don't know. Is it just a coincidence that this Sunday happens to be Valentine's Day too? Considering what has happened so far, I'd want to believe it to be another conspiracy - a conspiracy that I now wish to be a part of with my knowledge and consent; a cosmic conspiracy that started in college many years ago on a rainy day in October when I first received this note:
"i've a crush on you and don't know what to do...its not a small one and has been there for a fairly long time now...i thought of telling you now as i may be gone before long and might regret later in life for having never revealed it..."
That's it folks! My maiden attempt at story writing; a simple and perhaps a little crazy one experimenting with an unconventional narration style. Thanks for reading and hope you liked it!
Wish you a Happy Valentines Day!!! :)